just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
