We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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