3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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