she was so not down for the gang bang
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
