This is not my ceiling
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize