You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
