you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
