hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
