so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
