I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
