i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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