I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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