Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
