A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
