highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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