3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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