Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
