I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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