We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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