i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
