Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
