KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
