I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
