We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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