When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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