She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
