Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
