i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
