just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
