Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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