the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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