i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
