Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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