White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize