bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
