I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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