why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That reminds me...we need to get swords
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
