He had one of those small greek statue penises
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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