we have pet lesbian snakes
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
