my vag is so smooth its legendary
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
