physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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