gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
