I am in a vortex of obligation.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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