U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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