She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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