Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
