His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
