You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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