Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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