I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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