if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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