I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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