First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
