he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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