but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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