Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
farters have to be the big spoon...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I lost the right to judge tonight
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
