I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
