I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
