Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How external is "for external use only"?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
