first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
