he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
