dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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