Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize