drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
