Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
