the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I could fuck to npr.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
