I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
